Attention soon-to-be, new, and experienced parents: here are 10 important reasons to regularly compliment and praise your child. Parenting is undeniably tough, and while there’s no perfect approach, learning from past generations is key to breaking harmful patterns and helping your child grow into a happy, well-adjusted adult.
Psychologists highlight that something as simple as consistent praise can have a profound effect on your child’s development.
Low Self-Esteem
Children who don’t receive recognition for their accomplishments or support during their early years may experience low confidence and self-esteem. Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, a psychologist with the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, told Yahoo! Life that adults who weren’t complimented as children often struggle with their ‘self-worth,’ feeling inadequate or undeserving of success.
Social Anxiety or Isolation
A lack of compliments can make social interactions difficult, leading to awkwardness or discomfort when giving praise to others, according to Thriveworks psychologist Dr. Connally Barry. This can make it hard for them to build or maintain friendships, potentially causing social anxiety or isolation. It may even affect their job performance, particularly in roles requiring strong social skills.
Pessimism
Constant criticism without enough positive reinforcement can cause children to develop a pessimistic outlook on life.
Lack of Motivation
Without acknowledgment, children may start to question the value of their efforts. Dr. Barry explains that children who aren’t praised may struggle with motivation as adults, believing their hard work won’t be appreciated. Conversely, this can lead to a constant need for external validation.
Excessive Need for Validation
Instead of losing motivation, some may become overly dependent on external validation in adulthood to fill the gap from their childhood. However, they may also struggle to accept praise when it comes.
Difficulty Accepting Compliments
Growing up without regular praise can lead to difficulty accepting compliments later in life. Individuals may feel unworthy of recognition, downplay their successes, or find it hard to acknowledge their achievements.
Challenges in Celebrating Accomplishments
Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes that adults who didn’t receive praise as children often find it hard to celebrate their accomplishments, sometimes feeling guilty or uncomfortable with recognition. This may stem from setting excessively high standards for themselves.
Perfectionism
The absence of praise during childhood can drive adults to overexert themselves in pursuit of recognition, leading to anxiety, overthinking, and even burnout.
Over-Sensitivity
Without positive reinforcement, individuals may become overly sensitive to feedback, interpreting constructive criticism as personal attacks. This can complicate relationships both at work and in their personal lives.
Difficulty Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Adults who weren’t often praised may settle for less in relationships, have difficulty setting boundaries, and react defensively to criticism. Dr. Walsh suggests that those who weren’t cherished by their parents may find it hard to believe a romantic partner can love them, often repeating unhealthy dynamics from childhood.
Charity organization Words Matter emphasizes the lasting impact of verbal behavior from adults, noting that verbal abuse can be ‘as damaging’ as physical or sexual abuse. The charity offers resources and support on its website.