A death doula has shared valuable insights into the most common regrets expressed by patients in their final stages of life. For many, confronting the reality of mortality can be overwhelming, often prompting a diversion of focus away from the finite nature of existence.
However, those who work in the realm of death often gain a unique perspective on life. One such individual, death doula Katie Costello, recently participated in a roundtable discussion on mortality for LADbible TV. During this conversation, she revealed the most frequent regrets she encounters from those nearing the end of their lives. Contrary to common expectations, these regrets rarely pertain to career accomplishments or unspoken feelings.
Katie explained, “The most common thing I hear from people is a general sense of ‘I wish’.” She emphasized that these regrets seldom relate to material possessions; rather, they center around experiences and memories that were never made. “It’s always about the memories they wish they could have created or the places they wish they had visited.”
Echoing her insights, embalmer Martin Jeffrey remarked, “I think we appreciate [living] more than most people do. Tomorrow is not a given.”
If you need a prompt to prioritize enjoyment and meaningful moments with loved ones, consider this your sign. Material items fade, but experiences and the relationships we cultivate remain etched in our memories.
Katie’s observations align with those of palliative care physician Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, who often hears similar sentiments from patients. Many express regret over not spending enough time with loved ones, not being present in the moment, and dedicating excessive time to work.