When couples marry, they often expect to stay together for life, but divorce is a reality for many. Despite the common belief that 50% of marriages end in divorce, the actual rate is closer to 6.6%. Though significant, it’s not as high as many assume.
Marriage requires sacrifices, but sometimes the challenges become too much. Even couples who still care for each other may divorce if the relationship isn’t working as expected.
Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist from Arkansas, has outlined five stages that indicate a couple might be heading toward divorce, often without realizing it. Recognizing these stages is vital if a couple wants to stay together, or they risk a permanent split.
The first stage is disillusionment, where one partner feels disappointed with how the relationship is progressing. Whetstone told HuffPost, “They think, ‘Relationships have ups and downs, so I’ll wait and see if my feelings change.’” Ignoring this feeling can lead to the second stage, where thoughts of divorce surface.
Partners may express their dissatisfaction subtly—through sarcasm, complaints, or eye-rolling—without openly discussing their feelings. In stage three, emotional distance grows, with some turning to hobbies or even contemplating an affair for distraction.
“They focus more on their unhappiness, seeing only the negatives and forgetting what they once loved,” Whetstone says. This emotional withdrawal may become noticeable to others as the relationship becomes colder.
Stage four is the breaking point. Whether triggered by a small issue or a larger problem, one partner may finally say they can no longer continue pretending everything is okay.
The final stage is the “death” of the marriage, but Whetstone notes this doesn’t always mean the end. It may represent the end of the relationship in its current form, with a chance for a fresh start depending on the couple’s circumstances.
“The spouse won’t return to how things were,” she explains, but there may still be hope for the future under the right conditions.